Guilt, Shame, Envy, Jealousy… and Marketing

It’s hard for young people to realize that the life presented on social media posts isn’t real.

 

My youngest daughter, born in early 2000 (shares a birthday with Elvis) was particularly impacted by this topic. Gen Z is defined as those born between ’97 and 2012, and social media hit this group like a fire hose.

 

How bad is it? “Instagammers Are Faking the Luxury of a Private Jet for Just $64 an Hour”- you’ll see pictures here.

 

Adults can fall into the same trap, and Brene Brown provides some guidance on combating those feelings. Her interview on the Armchair Expert podcast is great- she’s funny, and talks about her own shortcomings. (Including racing an old woman while swimming laps, because she’s too competitive).

 

Let’s talk about guilt, shame, envy, jealousy- sound fun? Well, I think we can learn something about ourselves, how these feelings are used in marketing, and how ethical business people can market with honesty.

 

You can find humorous short stories here.

Understanding guilt vs. shame

 

“Guilt tells people they did something bad while shame tells people they are something bad.”

 

This statement was powerful for me, because many people have difficulty separating a mistake from their personal identity. You feel guilty about losing your temper, sure, but that doesn’t define you as a bad person. Anthony De Mello makes this point repeatedly in a great book: Awareness, and he does it with humor.

 

So, I do feel guilty for stealing beer mugs (called Schooners) from the Jayhawk Cafe in Lawrence, KS, but I don’t feel shame. Hey- it was 40 years ago in college…

 

Think about required maintenance on your car: you need to change the oil and rotate the tires to keep the vehicle running. Personal reflection and self-talk gets me past the guilt and back on the road- without running myself into a ditch with shame.

 

Differences between envy and jealousy

 

“The difference between envy and jealousy is that envy materializes when one wants something somebody else has—looks, status and wealth are the big trio—while jealousy is the feeling that a relationship is being threatened.”

 

As I look back, I had a great deal of envy in my 20s and 30s, but it declined over time. I remember reading Forbes magazine in the late 1990s and wondering: Am I the only person who’s not getting rich in tech stocks? The dotcom bubble changed that outcome.

 

I was envious of people with wealth, because I thought that wealth translated into security. Well, true to some extent- but having more money does not insulate you from life’s challenges.

 

What got me past envy was getting to know people that I envied- and realizing that they had challenges that were unrelated to money: health problems, issues with children, broken marriages. In many cases, I’d rather have my set of problems than someone else’s, thanks very much.

 

That got rid of envy.

 

I guess jealousy was less of an issue for me, since I was comfortable with most relationships: spouse, kids, close friends. I certainly felt badly if a relationship soured, but it didn’t rise to jealousy.

 

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So, how does this impact marketing?

 

Emotions and marketing techniques

 

“In 2007, the market research firm Yankelovich estimated that the average person saw up to 5,000 ads per day, and after surveying 4,110 people, half of them said that advertising was ‘out of control’.”

 

That was 15 years ago, and the estimate today is 6,000 to 10,000 per day. Makes sense, given the number of devices and apps that deliver ads to us.

 

Since we’re now exposed to so many ads, I think we can spot BS faster. We pick up on marketing approaches, and how they are attempting to manipulate us. Here are two examples:

 

Same price, less product

 

Have you noticed that your favorite food or consumer product seems to come in a smaller package? It’s called shrinkflation, and it’s a real thing. “General Mills shrunk its ‘family size’ boxes from 19.3 ounces to 18.1 ounces.”

 

And sold them at the same price.

 

Gym passes sold in January

 

I’m writing this in early March. My gym is still more crowded than normal, but it won’t last.

 

As Shortform explains: “… aspiration gets people to buy gym passes, but it takes inspiration to get a person to use them. That’s why gym memberships rise by 12 percent in January, but only a fraction of those people ever use them.”

 

Regulars at a gym know about his trend, which happens every year. Developing a new habit is really difficult, and it’s hard to stay on track.

 

If you’re like me, you feel manipulated when certain ads come over the wall. Remember “Don’t Get Mad, Get E*Trade”? The clear message was: other people are getting rich, I envy their wealth, so I’ll use E*Trade to get wealthy, too.

The ads are clever, but I feel queasy…

There’s a better way to market.

Find a urgent problem and solve it

 

If your product solves an urgent problem, and sells for a reasonable price, you don’t need to manipulate prospects. Just tell them what the product does, and how they’ll be better off after buying it.

 

Pretty simple.

 

Here’s an example: I love my Merrell hiking boots. They’re durable, and keep my feet dry in any type of weather. I’ve walked my dog all winter using my Merrell boots, and I’ll always buy the same brand.

 

This is the home page. It’s all about getting outside and self-care. When you go outside, our boots will hold up under heavy use, and keep your feet dry.

 

Problem solved.

 

Now, it will take many exposures to the marketing message before a prospect may be interested in buying.

 

“The Rule of 7 states that a prospect needs to “hear” the advertiser’s message at least 7 times before they’ll take action to buy that product or service.

The Marketing Rule of 7 is a marketing maxim developed by the movie industry in the 1930s. Studio bosses discovered that a certain amount of advertising and promotion was required to compel someone to see one of their movies.”

It’s tougher to get attention today, but the strategy is the same: if you’re solving an urgent problem, you can eventually get a prospect’s attention with effective advertising.

You can do it without manipulation- and buyers will appreciate that approach.

 

All food for thought.

 

Ken

 

Image: Greed, Sam Rodgers, (CC By SA-2.0)